


Jen of Giardia, the Queen of Agria

by Lenaa412



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22574563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenaa412/pseuds/Lenaa412
Summary: After her sister made a terrible mistake that resulted in her being locked up, Jen needs to take her place and marry Prince David.Initially, everything is roses and singing birds, the two are in love, but after the wedding and coronation, things start to go downhill, and Jen is forced to make a drastic decision.How will this shape their relationship? Will it be all good or will Jen join her sister?





	1. Chapter 1

One mistake. That is all it takes for someone to mess up their entire life, everything they have worked for, everything they have earned their way through sweat and blood.

My sister made one wrong decision one night which resulted in her losing her love, her title, her everything but her life, and that she could only keep to be reminded of the mistake she made, for the rest of her life.

One would say that it is a cruel thing to do, but given what she has done, given how she made him and our entire family look, it is not. It is what she deserved, and even I know it, though I really love her and deep-down wished that she had thought before she acted ... Yes, I _am_ very disappointed in her, but she is still my sister and always will be.

However, there was one thing I had not thought of when all this happened.

That I will take her place.

Not in the way to keep her image up, to impersonate her; but the next girl in his life. I completely forgot about the agreement in the haze of the events, and when I had the chance to do something about it, I missed it, and now I cannot back out.

Even though in that moment, I was ordered to say ‘yes,’ I have grown to like David. He is not my captor, this is not Stockholm Syndrome, I just had to obey an old agreement between our fathers by marrying him.

He, as well, had made one terrible decision after a series of other bad ones, which resulted in him making this agreement with King Leopold, back in the day.

After our mother died, my father went emotionally downhill. He could not focus, he locked himself away from everyone, and on top of that, he avoided his duties as King and ended up in debt and on the threshold of war with our neighbouring provinces.

Neither my sister, nor I could do anything as, even though Nicole was the eldest, neither she nor I were in line to the throne. Only because of an old rule that Giardia cannot have a female ruler, because one sexist King thought women were too weak to rule Giardia and he wrote it in stone. Literally ...

King Leopold, however, had agreed to come to our aid, but because there was some bad blood between them from _years_ ago, before all of this – neither my sister nor I know what happened –, so, they made an agreement that one of my father’s daughters had to marry his son, David when they are of age. My father agreed, but only if King Leopold held his end up first and helped us.

He did, he helped us even ourselves out enough so that my father can continue on his own, and he did for a few years after that, but we did not expect treachery by our own men, who had killed my father in his sleep. Strangely enough, they have done nothing to us except shipping us off to Agria, to King Leopold, who was just as surprised as we were. Given that the people had taken over Giardia and no one could stop them, he let them rule it and took us in.

Through the few years, I kept track of what happened there, while my sister was busy receiving courting from David. Though he looked like he was in pain when I saw them together ...

I expected Giardia to be in ruins after we left, but it turned out that the people just appointed someone they thought would best fit to rule them and crowned him King.

I know this from my friend back there, who I met when I got lost at the Summer Fair we went to every year until I was ten. I befriended this little girl who was a year younger than me, and as we grew, we kept in touch with each other through letters. The only time I have not heard from her was from when my mother died to when we were shipped off. Then I sent her a letter saying we were okay and asking her to send me a message, every two weeks, telling me how everything was there.

She was not royal, she had a simple life with her mother and two brothers, but I always made sure to reward her help, even with the smallest things like that simple, embroidered handkerchief she told me she saw on one of the ladies, or that new pot her mother wanted since the other had a hole in it. Or just baked goods which I sent them every month.

Her mother was suspicious of her, thinking she had an admirer, but then she told her that I was a lady friend of hers in Agria whom she met and became friends with time ago.

Now, in this two years and eight months, we have been in Agria so far, she had never missed a letter telling me what happened there, also asking me how things were here, so we exchanged as much information to each other about each other’s homes as we could.

***

Then my sister had her nineteenth birthday, and the next month she and David tied the knot. What I did not know – though we tell each other everything – was that she did not want to marry him.

She loved him, but not in a way that she would marry him. He was not violent with her, she said when I asked, she just wanted him to have a better life than what she could have provided him. She did not tell me what, but she told me she planned to do something that would get us out of this agreement. I begged her not to do something stupid and to tell me, but she did not. She did not let me help her and practically ordered me to not to interfere.

That was the first time she had ordered me to do anything, and not like an older sister but as the future Queen she was. I was just a daughter of a failed Count, living in a foreign land, under the rule of a foreign King, whose future Queen is my sister.

I had no choice but to obey.

But looking back now, I should have interfered. I should have done something. There was a point, I remember, when I suspected she is up to something at that moment, but her glare over her glass of champagne, through the crowd of people, stopped me from doing anything.

Now she was locked up, her name erased from everything possible because even though our family was famous for making wrong decisions, this was by far the worst situation that backfired. It was nowhere near in lifting the agreement of us, but it made King David and his family and the whole Province look bad, so drastic measures had to be done, like erasing her from the history of Agria as much as possible, though they could not erase her from the people.

A week after that, when they finally pulled me out of my room to where I hid in shame and anger and heartbreak, they told me that I will be the future Queen of Agria. At that moment I had no choice but to turn to David and, look into his regretful eyes and say, ‘Yes, Your Majesty’.

And now, five months later, we are still getting to know each other as I have another year until I turn nineteen. I tried to keep an open mind towards him, trying not to look at him as the man who sentenced my sister to life in prison, but a man who was trying to save his Province from shame.

I found things out about him that I never knew, though Nicole told me everything about him whenever we were alone. Over these five months, and over the time we spent with each other whenever we could, I must admit, I have grown to like him.

He is sweet, he is kind and caring, funny but serious when needed. He needs his space when he becomes quiet, not someone to comfort him. He is way too generous, that I feel bad sometimes that I cannot give him anything in return, but when I confronted him after he had given me jewellery to wear on his birthday, he said that I do not need to give anything to him in return, just my love and loyalty.

And that I could.


	2. Chapter 2

Now we had a day to ourselves as he had little to do today because he planned it that way. He got everything done in the past few days – or as much as he could – only so he can spend the day with me.

We were out in the garden, a few hours after breakfast, taking a walk.

“I really love your dress today,” he let me go ahead of him through the white, wooden gate leading to the pool garden. I was wearing a flowy, cream dress with a V-shaped top. Its material was pulled on the top and connected at the waist to the dress with a brown belt. It reached down to my ankles, and half hid my brown sandals that matched the belt. I knew today we would be outside in the summer weather, so I dressed accordingly.

“Thank you.” I smiled at him, then turned back ahead. “I was not sure about it though, Sally said it might be too revealing, and Imogen thought it was too ...” I was searching for the word she used, but David cut me off.

“I think it is perfect for today. I wish I would have clothes less ...” He looked down at himself.

“Formal?” I asked, smiling at him.

He chuckled. “You could say that.”

I went a few steps ahead and turned around to face him. “You could always get rid of that.” I pointed towards his jacket. “Unless you are fine boiling in the sun in that navy and black jacket.” I stopped walking backwards and let him catch up to me. He just shook his head, smiling, but took his jacket off, and folded it onto his arm.

We reached one of the small, shallow décor-pools, and I skipped to walk on the three-inch edge of it. I held my hands out to keep myself balanced but was swaying because its side was not as wide as my feet. At the end of it, I hopped off and looked over at David looking at me, amused.

“Glad, you are having fun,” he said.

“Why you are not?” I asked, tilting my head, my smile fading from my lips.

“That is ... not what I meant.” He looked down and fidgeted with his jacket.

“What is wrong?” I tried to catch his eyes.

He looked up, sighing. “Nothing, just the last days were intense, but I am happy to see they have not gotten to you.”

We continued to walk.

“Well, I guess that is about to change then, is it not?” I asked, now me being the one not looking at him.

“I wish it were another way,” he said, sincerity detectable on his voice.

“Why?” I looked up. “You do not want me to be your queen?” I looked into his eye, trying to look for my answer before he gave it.

“What I meant,” he took my hands, “is that I do not want you to give your freedom up before it is time.”

“But that is what I am in for. You do not have to shelter me from reality.” I moved my hand to his cheek. “I want to help you. Any way I can,” I added.

He took my hand off his cheek gently and kissed it. Looking into my eyes, with something sweet reflecting in them, he said, “All right.”

Smiling, I took a sudden step back, but not before grabbing his non-jewelled, simple crown, and started stepping backwards.

“Hey! Give it back!” He shouted after me as I started picking up the pace. I heard it in his voice that he was smiling, and was not offended, because I took a risk; he might not have been up for it.

I turned around and ran, but as I looked back to him, I went off-course and stepped into the pool. The water was only about two inches, but it stopped me for just enough time for him to catch up. He hugged me from behind and reached out to his crown. Laughing, I tried to keep it from him by extending my arms ahead of me. He turned me around as if that would make it easier for him, but I held my hands behind myself as he drew me closer in the water.

He looked into my eyes, smiling. He tilted his head to the side a bit and moved closer. He gave his intention away by glancing down, and I gave in to him, as he breathed a soft kiss on my lips. I put my arms around his neck, but before that, I placed his crown back on his head. He did not break the kiss just because he got what he wanted in the end, he kissed me, and I kissed him back until we were out of our breath.

And right on cue came two guards, who were patrolling the gardens. When they saw us, they both bowed their heads and greeted David. I noticed their exchange of looks after it, I am sure the sight of their King and future Queen standing in a pool of water was not expected.

David helped me out and said, “Now, look at what you have done! My shoes and trousers are soaked!” He said, and my smile faded off my lips. At first, I could not make out if he was really offended or just playing. I said nothing, because of this, but when he looked up and into my eyes, and I saw the smile sitting in the corner of his mouth, what he tried to hide and failed, I gave him a nudge, and we continued to walk, now out of the pool garden.

“For a moment I really thought you meant it,” I admitted.

“Sorry. I just wanted to see your reaction.” He chuckled. “It was totally worth it.”

“I am glad I amuse you,” I said sharply, but I smiled. “I guess we are even now?”

“We are,” he said, leaning in to kiss my cheek.

I knew we only had a few hours to spend together, so we both tried to make the most of it, but when we were in the middle of a conversation, one of the guards came, apologising to interrupt and asking for David in an urgent matter.

“Is it life or death urgent?” He asked the guard, still holding my hand. “I told them I need a few hours away from work, surely they can understand, after all, I completed everything that was required of me just to be able to have time with Jen.” The guard did not answer, so he asked again. “Is it life or death matter?”

“No, Your Majesty,” he said.

“Then it can surely wait another hour, can it not?” He asked back, but I gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“If you need to go, then go. I will not mind.”

He looked at me, then at the guard, still waiting for a final answer or dismissal, I guess, then back to me. “Are you sure?”

“I am. Agria comes first, then me.” He looked down. “Really. Go.” I kissed him one last time, then watched him leave with the guard, visibly disappointed that his day ended so fast. We only had two hours together.

Since my Fernish lesson did not start for another two hours, I decided to go to the not-so-huge-but-still-spacious library the castle had and catch up on the language. I loved the language, it was such a different one from Giardia’s Lennit, and the world language, Orian, but still not hard to learn. It was the third most spoken language and spoken by the majority of Agria’s allies, so it only came useful.

After the lesson, I had free time since my history teacher had taken a short time off because his wife had just given birth to a baby.

From the time Nicole and David were together, I found a place in the castle that was hidden enough to become my secret place. It had a beautiful view of the southside of the castle, and everything beyond that.

I turned onto the east corridor on the third floor and walked all the way down to the end, where there was an old room, possibly a previous reception room, but it did not seem to be in use now. There were no guards past the point where you turn onto the east corridor because there was only that one room down on it.

The two guards there were the same as last time, which I guess was pure luck since I knew the guards’ positions were always rotating – I knew for sure because I had a different guard guarding my door each week. They recognised me, I saw it, but did not stop me as I went past them.

In the room, there was a door in the back-left corner which led to a staircase upwards and onto the fourth floor’s north corridor. From there, I only turned left and through the glass door and out to the balcony. From here, I just turned right and right again, arriving in a little nook.

Taking in the fresh air, I leaned on my elbows on the rail. Looking down at the south Garden, the most flowery of them all. It was Queen Amber’s, David’s mother’s, personal favourite before she passed a few years ago, but they kept it as it was, as a reminder of her. Past that, I could see the edge of the east and the west wing, and in front of me was an edge of the nearest town, especially the Market Square.

I am sure I spent about an hour out here, just admiring the view ahead and taking in the smell of the flowers below, but when I closed the door in the not-used reception room on the third floor, I saw on the clock that I spent three hours there, not one.

I walked out to the southern corridor, where the guards were not there now. I looked around to see if I just missed them, though I did not need their help, I was just curious why they are not at their posts.

I turned around and casually headed back to my room. I was just around the corner, on the corridor turning onto where my room was when I heard a guard shout, “There she is!” I stopped, turning around to see two guards and David walking towards me.

“Is there something wrong?” I asked frowning.

David did not answer at first, just hurried to me to embrace me. Sighing, he said, “I was worried. You were gone for hours!”

“I know I am sorry.” I looked down.

He put his hands on my upper arms and held me while looking straight into my eyes. “Where were you?”

“I just needed some air,” I said, slightly worried now. He never acted this way, and to be perfectly honest, it scared me a little. “I am sorry I made you worry, but I am fine. Nothing happened.”

“I know.” He embraced me again. “I know.”


	3. Chapter 3

I heard a knock on my door, and since neither Sally nor Imogen was here, I put my book down, got up from my nook by the window and opened my door. David was standing there, smiling.

“May I come in?” he asked, motioning forward with his hand.

I nodded and stepped aside, and he walked in. “Is there something wrong?” I asked while closing the door.

He turned around to face me. “Nothing is wrong. In fact, I have great news for you.”

“Really? What is it?” I walked up to him.

“You asked me to involve you more, right?” He reached for my hands.

“Right.” I looked down because the way he put it made me sound like I was ungrateful for living the life I do.

“Well, I have got a job for you.” He lifted his head and looked into my eyes. “The Fernish royals will come in a week, and I need you to plan their reception. I know, it is a short time.”

“You want me to plan a reception for the Fernish royals?” I asked, stunned.

He nodded, smiling. “Yes. For them. Is there a problem?”

“Problem? No! Of course not!”

“Excellent!” He clapped his hands. “Then, you have a meeting with the planners at one. You will assist them, but they are mainly there to help _you_.”

I just nodded in agreement. He kissed my cheek and left my room. I stood there for moments after he went out, letting it sink in. I have never planned something, or not something as big as a reception to one of the most important allies of Agria.

***

“My Lady,” one of the women said as she noticed me stepping into the reception room. There were only four of them, and they all curtsied curtly.

“How can I help?” I asked, shyly but trying my best to be confident.

Three of them looked at the fourth, who approached me with a folder in her hands. She was petite but had beautiful long, brown hair, which was half pulled back and braided that outlined her heart-shaped face and creamy skin. All of them wore the same outfit, a burgundy, short-sleeved, tea-length dress.

“We have a list of everything that still needs to be taken care of.” She handed me a copy.

“We could not decide on the colour scheme, between these two,” she pointed to the first point on the sheet that said, ‘Colour Theme: Blue-Purple / Gold’.

“I think the gold one would be fine if we use a pale shade, not a strong gold. Like ... beige. Just more gold-er.” I smiled. She and another looked at the other two, clearly declaring themselves as the winners. “I am sorry I do not even know your names.” I turned to her.

“I am Lilliana,” she said. “Adele and Viola,” she pointed to the tall, slim woman with short, blonde hair, standing next to a chubbier, dark-skinned, dark-haired, woman, whose expression was so warm and welcoming. “And Isadora,” she pointed to the last one, who had black hair and pale skin. She and Adele were the ones who ‘lost’ in the argument between the colour theme of the reception.

***

Adele, Viola and Isadora spent the day decorating the reception room while Lilliana and I were discussing the food, drinks, music and everything else. We decided we will have an equal amount of Fernish and Agrian light food, and the music to be neutral, but still, something that the guests could dance to. Adele suggested a group of musicians who played at previous receptions, and we accepted.

We spent the week planning everything out in detail, telling the chefs the menu, and re-arranging the room three times because it just did not look nice.

On the day before, we were still in there, running through what would happen in less than twelve hours.

“So, the guests come in,” Lilliana walked up to the door, turned around and walked into the room.

“And I will greet them,” I added.

“Then they can all scatter and enjoy the reception.” Lilliana extended her arms as she stepped in the middle of the room. I laughed. We had been up late the past few days, we are all tired.

“I think everything is ... done. All we need is the guests and the food.” I looked around the room glistening in gold and white.

The tables were spread around the perimeter of the room, leaving a space for the musicians by the window. The room was not the biggest reception room we had, more like a bigger one of the smaller ones, but it was enough for the forty people who would occupy it in twelve hours.

“Beautiful!” A voice said behind us. Lilliana and I both turned around at the same time to see David standing by the door, looking at the room amazed then to me. Lilliana curtsied and left as he approached me. “And the room looks nice too.” I chuckled and nudged his arm. “Are you finished for the day?”

“Are you kidding? I am finished-finished! Get me out of here!”

“Are you hungry?”

“I am starving. I have not eaten anything since lunch,” I said, accepting his arm and following him down the hall.

“I think I can bribe the chef to give us something to eat this late,” he said.

I chuckled. “I am not sure about that.”

“You do not know my secret superpower,” he said, leaning closer.

“What? Seducing middle-aged women too?” I laughed. This time he nudged me, but he smiled too.

***

When it was time, we all went down to the reception room and waited for our guests to be escorted in.

“Prince Ahsinum, Princess Viaa, their daughter Princess Sacha,” the man at the door announced.

“Welcome to Agria, Your Highnesses,” I said, and I saw David gave me a small but reassuring nod.

“Everything is just so beautiful,” the Princess stepped away from her parents and twirled around with extended arms. Then she turned to me. “Is it your doing?”

“Yes, Princess, and four very talented women’s.” I glanced towards them, giving them a small smile. I was not going to take all the credit, I just could not! It was mainly about them, I was just ‘supervising.’

“Well, thank them in my stead.” She smiled. Then she saw the buffet table and hurried away with an exclaim. I was a bit surprised by how she was acting, though not in a wrong way. She was so ... free-spirited. That is the only word I can find fit to the situation. She was not the type I had to be and many others, but she was also not the stuck-up one either. She was free, though still acted and was a princess, and she knew it. She knew the consequences, and she moved in a way that was different from how we would usually act, but still in a socially acceptable way.

“Excuse my daughter’s behaviour,” Prince Ahsinum said in a thicker accent than Princess Sacha’s. I guess she spent more time studying Orian than her parents did, but it is clear that the Fernish is not one accent one can just out-learn.

“Nothing to worry about Prince Ahsinum, this is a party for Your Highnesses after all,” David said, smiling. They lightly bowed their heads and headed into the room.

The event came out better than I expected, seemingly everyone was having a good time. The Fernish royals were having lively conversations with the Agrian royals by the looks of it because at one time I saw them laughing at something one of them said.

Princess Sacha was dancing every time I spotted her in the room, and always with a different person. I was not sure if she was the one behind her partners or they were the ones who asked her to dance. By this point, I would imagine the first scenario too, without surprise.

I was near the buffet table, enjoying my drink and watching the people in the room. David was talking to some important people I have yet to meet, about something not more important than the event, I hoped.

“Hello,” a cheerful voice said to my left. I turned my head, and it was Princess Sacha.

“Ah, Princess. I hope everything is to your liking.”

“Everything is. I am having a great time.” She nodded heavily. “To be perfectly honest, Princess Jen, receptions are not very much to my liking, I was not very keen on coming to this either, but I must say this is one I rather enjoy.”

I looked down for a moment and thought if I should correct her, but it was okay, I thought. I looked up at her and smiled. “I am glad.”

The musicians have started a new song, not a slow one like before, but a quicker one, which reminded me of one of the receptions from when I was younger. In Giardia, we had a traditional dance to a fast-paced song. It was fun to dance every time I did, and that was one of the rare times when I saw my father smile along with everyone, young or old.

I spotted a hand reaching for my glass and setting it on the table. “Come, dance.” Princess Sacha linked arms with me and pulled me to the dancefloor.

“But Prince–”

She stopped and turned to me, in the first position of the dance. “Do you not know how to dance to this song?”

“No, I do know, but we do not–” I lowered my voice and leaned closer. “Two women do not dance with each other. Not on formal occasions at least.”

Princess Sacha just shrugged smiling and started the dance along with the people surrounding us. “Come on, do not let me dance alone.” She said while circling me as the dance would have two people circling each other. When she came to a halt as was required and bowed like the man would, sighing I finally decided to join her.

We danced the dance through the whole song, and when we walked off the dancefloor, laughing, David was standing in front of us. I saw something in his eyes that I could place, but apparently, the Princess did not see it.

“I will go and get us some drinks,” she whispered, cheerily, and I just nodded, not being able to speak any words in fear my voice would betray me.

“David, I tri–” I started to excuse myself, but he just turned his head slightly, and I looked down.

“It was nothing, Jen. You danced. They did not mind, sure some of our people gave your frowns, but you two did not break any rules, so to say.”

I looked up. “Then what was that look you gave me? Like something was wrong?”

“Something _was_ wrong, indeed.”

“What?” I asked, starting to panic.

“That _I_ did not ask you to dance. I was too caught up with talking to the Fernish that I only noticed someone snatched you away when they pointed it out. _Smiling_ , might I add.”

I smiled and felt my cheeks redden.

Princess Sacha came back with our drinks. “Sorry Prince David, I could not bring another one, I hope you do not mind.” She lifted her arms up, smiling, meaning she only had two, and we were a company of three.

“No worries, Princess, but might I point something out?” He asked while she gave me my drink and I sipped from it while I spotted Princess Sacha’s parents dancing.

“What is wrong?”

“Uhm ... Princess, you got the titles wrong. We are a _k_ _ing_ dom.” David emphasised the word. “Therefore, it is _King_ David, and soon, Queen Jen.” He motioned to me too.

“I am terribly sorry. Please, forgive me. I do not know how I forgot it.”

“No harm was done, it is all right.” He smiled, trying to calm her. “May I steal her for a dance?” He asked her.

“Sure.” She smiled. David took my drink, and Princess Sacha took it voluntarily.

As we went onto the dancefloor, I turned to him. “That is the second drink I did not finish.”

“I will bring you the whole bottle if you wish, once we are through this.”

We started to dance.

“What is wrong?” I asked. When he did not reply right away, I continued. “Is something wrong with the Fernish men you talked to previously?”

“Yes,” he whispered. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it. A few seconds later, he continued. “I wanted a meeting with them, to talk about some ideas I had about joining Fern and Agria in exchanges, but they _ever so politely_ –” he mocked “–declined my offer saying, ‘Agria has nothing Fern wants or needs.’” He quoted, deepening his voice, I am guessing, copying one of the men.

“What do we need?”

He shook his head. “Just a few little things.” He paused. “Since Giardia upped their tax on their goods, I needed to stop the exchange of our metal to their leather and fur.” He paused again. “I can get leather from elsewhere, even cheaper than what I had them for from Giardia, but the fur and the others ...”

“It is almost winter, and we are surrounded by mountains!”

“Thank you for the reminder,” he said in a low, cold tone.

“All right.” I nodded. “You will find a way, I know you will.”

“And the thing is that the imported wood from Syccany is running low.”

“What?” _This is the first I heard about it, but why?_

“Their letter has arrived this morning. They are cutting back from the import because they need to think about _their_ people.” He paused. “Which I understand, of course.”

“I could ... talk to Princess Sacha. To talk to her parents maybe. After all, they are the ones who have the final say in what gets imported and exported in and out of their Province, are they not?”

“You are right, but– I cannot ask you to do that.”

“Nonsense! I am as much of the ruler of this kingdom as you are, did you forget? Or soon. I want to help. Something to lift off your shoulders.” I plead.

“Fine. But– do not press her. Just ... _hint_ at it.”

“I know.” I smiled and kissed his cheek as the dance ended.

We walked back to Princess Sacha, who was standing where she was before we went dancing. David excused himself, and she handed me back my drink.

“You know, I was very compelled to finish yours, but since I took your previous one, I thought I owed you this.”

I laughed. “Well, thank you, Prin–”

“Just call me Sacha. I had enough of the formalities.” She sighed slightly rolling their eyes. “People are _waaay_ too formal in Agria.”

“I do not disagree.” I smiled and sipped from my drink.

***

At the end of the reception, as I was just as much responsible for the event as were Adele, Viola, Isadora and Lilliana, I helped them remove the decorations and pack and sort-of clean up.

We were half-way done when David stepped in. I only noticed because the girls started to curtsy.

“Please,” he waved his hand. “May I steal her?” He motioned to me.

“Of course,” Lilliana said.

I turned towards her. “Are you sure?”

Adele smiled. “Yes, yes. We can manage.”

“All right then.” I smiled too, shyly and left with David.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“What?” I asked, but he just looked ahead, trying to control himself not to smile. “Tell me!”

“We are almost there, just you wait.” He said as he directed me out into the garden. There was a blanket laid down on the grass with a basket in one corner.

“David ...” I turned to him.

“Just a little relaxation. Though if you would like to just call it a day I would understand.”

“No, no! It is fine. Thank you for doing this.”

He replied with a gentle kiss on my lips.

“Oh, I talked to Sacha,” I said as we sat down.

“So, it is first name basis now with you two? Should I worry?” He chuckled.

“Maybe.” I looked at him from under my lashes. “But, on the serious note, I was lucky because she spotted us talking while dancing, and she said she noticed it was about something serious. I briefly told her about our situation and hinted our decline by the Fernish, and she promised she will talk to her parents, because, and I quote, ‘there is no way on this Earth that I will not help my friend in a hard time.’”

“This is great news, Jen! Thank you for doing this.” He kissed my forehead.

“You are welcome. But I want to know now, what is in the basket.” I smiled, and while laughing, he opened the lid.


	4. Chapter 4

A few weeks after the reception, and with the help of the Fernish royals, we stood back on our feet concerning our imported materials. We still had issues, but they were nothing we could not handle.

One night, when David was buried under work all day, he managed to sneak out with me at night, and we went on a walk around the gardens. I saw something was on his mind, and at first, I thought it was about work, but when I asked, he just sighed and stopped.

“Uh-oh, this is more serious than I thought if you need to stop for this.”

“No. It is n– I mean it _is_ important, and I wanted to do it for quite some time now ...” I looked at him, slightly frowning in confusion. “I know officially we are, but ...” He reached into his pocket and pulled out something small. I could not see it clearly due to the lack of light and because he was keeping in his closed hand. “Jen?”

“Hm?” I looked up from his hand.

“Will you marry me?” He asked and opening his hand in front of me, I saw a simple, round, silver ring.

I looked up into his eyes. “But we are–”

“I know, that is what I meant by ‘officially.’ But I realised that I have never actually asked you. It was decided for us, but ... I know nothing would really change officially if you said no, but ... I guess it is more for me. As a reassurance.” He held his hand out while he spoke, and I could take my eyes off the ring. “Jen?”

“Yes.”

“What do you say?” We spoke at the same time.

I looked at him, smiling, as I have already said my answer, I just waited for him to realise. He did in a moment, and in that moment, his eyes lit up and smiling widely, he slid the ring on my finger and kissed me.

“So, then I guess we better plan a wedding. We have been engaged for a while now, have not we?” I chuckled.

“Oh. Yes. I, uh, I will be on it, first thing in the morning ... but tonight,” he scooped me into his arms, “... I want to celebrate.” He carried me to the door leading into the palace, where he put me down and holding hands, we hurried up the stairs and into his room.

***

The next few days were ... busy. We both knew planning a wedding is not easy, but what we did not know was that we would be separated this much. When we were not called away to give opinions on this type of napkin for the reception, and that type of music, and choosing the venue, the church, the ... argh! On top of all this, David had his own problems as King. I did not really mind, though, I understood him having to put the kingdom first, but this way, all the wedding decisions fell to me. I felt terrible because I did not want to leave him out of it. After all, this is just as much of his day as it is mine.

Luckily, I had a few minutes of rest after trying on seemingly all the wedding dresses there is in the closest shops and having been told that none of them are “the one.” It took nearly five hours, and we should have been already on our way to make it for dinner, but I was so exhausted from trying on all these lovely dresses and from the previous days too. Having to stay up late and wake up early ... I did not really get much sleep, let alone _good_ sleep. My maids had to try extra hard to make me presentable for exiting the palace not looking like a zombie, with the bags under my eyes, my dull skin with breakouts, and my catastrophe of a hair, which they braided lovely, might I add.

On our way back, in the carriage, I dozed off and only woke when the carriage parked in front of the gates with a sudden stop. I fell off the seat and into Anastasia’s lap. She is the one who helps me – us – with the wedding.

“Sorry.”

“No worries, Your Highness.” The door opened, and I stepped out, followed by Anastasia. “I know you are tired; I would be too if I were in your shoes.”

“Just thinking about being tired makes me more tired.” I tried to hide my yawn. “Pardon me.”

She smiled. “Let’s go see if they still serve dinner or if we are exceptionally late for it.” She went ahead, and I followed her, trying to keep my princess-self up a little more.

After we saw that they have already finished dinner, Anastasia sent me to my room, saying she will bring my dinner up. Agreeing to that lovely idea, I went upstairs, trying hard to concentrate on not falling over on the stairs in my gown. Luckily it was one of those breezy, light ones, but still, a lot of fabric which I needed to hold.

I was so tired, I was blinking long, and had to stop to shake my head, to try to shake the sleepiness out of it just while I got to my room and could flop on my bed. But of course, this was the exact time when somebody had to come right around the corner, and into me because I was in the way.

And of course, that somebody had to be David.

“Jen, are you all right?” He asked, worried.

“Yes, yes.” I smiled. “I am just tired.”

“I believe you. I am sorry we did not have much time with each other–”

“No, I know. You have the kingdom to worry about, and therefore I have the wedding to worry about.”

“I did not want to push it all over to you. I want to help.” He seemed very guilty of practically having done precisely that.

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” I tried to keep my eyes open.

“Sure.” He said quickly and walked me to my room. There I did not even bother to take my shoes off, let alone change, I just flopped on the bed, hugged my pillows, and fell asleep.

***

When I opened my eyes the next day, David was lying on the bed in front of me, caressing my cheeks.

“I could get used to this wake-up call,” I said, rolling on my back and stretching out then I sat up and looked down at him. “But really, how come you have time for this? Not that it is not lovely.” I gave him a kiss. “Thank you.”

“It is because it is way early. I wanted to have a little time with you before everyone grabbed you away, and I would not be able to see you for who knows how long.”

“Aw, that is sweet,” I caressed his cheek. “But I really need to get out of this dress.”

“Well, I do not mind.”

I chuckled. “Even if you do not, I do. It will not take a minute.” I said, hopping off the bed. He reached out after me and pulled me in for a kiss.

“You better be right. Otherwise, I will barge in and get you out myself if it is taking too long,” he said, and I just looked at him slightly stunned, but smiled and left for the bathroom.

***

I promised it would not take long so that we would have time for each other, and it did not take long. Luckily, there was a door opening to my wardrobe from my bathroom, so I did not have to parade through my bedroom to get dressed, though I am sure David would not have minded ...

Since half my dresses were the types I needed help with, I choose something lighter, easier to put on and wear, not the usual type. It was a pale turquoise, tea-length dress with a straight neckline, showing the top of my shoulders. I chose a necklace and a belt to match it, put my shoes on and went back into my bedroom, only to find it empty.

“I could have sworn it did not take that long,” I said, looking around.

“Oh, no it did,” David spoke from behind me, from the bathroom.

“You actually went in there? What if I would have still been in the bathroom?” I asked, smiling into his embrace.

“Well ... I am sure we would have figured something out.” He smirked, and I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, I do not even want to know what went down his mind. “Though we–” A knock from my door cut him off.

“It can wait,” I said.

 _Knock, knock._ “Your Highness?”

We both just looked at each other and sighing, I stepped back from David and walked over to the door. Before I opened it, I put on a smile, even though I wanted to ... Too many ideas to do with the person standing on the other side of the door.

“Yes?” I opened it, seeing Sally. “It is so early girls, what is the problem?”

“Uhm, His Majesty asked us to fetch your breakfasts earlier,” she pulled the trolley in front of the door, “and bring it up to y–”

“Oh, lovely. Right on time.” David appeared in the doorway and cut her off. “Thank you.” He pulled the trolley in and disappeared from the doorway.

“Is there anything else?” I asked nicely.

“That was it. Of course, I see you do not need our help with dressing this morning.”

“Heh ... Yes. I kind of ... managed,” I said.

“Then, with your approval, we will not disturb you until you need us.”

“Thank you, Sally.” I nodded.

“Your Highness.” She bowed and walked down the corridor. I closed the door and turned around to see David has already started eating half his breakfast and half mine.

“Hey!”

“Sorry. But yours looked better.” I walked over there, crossed. “I only took half of it though.” I sat down to the table opposite him and put my plate with half my food on it in front of me.

“David, dear, I have a really long day ahead of me, longer than yours possibly, because my whole day would be spent either trying on dresses, some ridiculously heavy – some just plain ridiculous – or having to stand on a platform while they pin pins to me.”

“Ow! Why?”

“To make my dress.”

“Then why do you have to _try on_ dresses?”

“I might not today. Do I really need to convince you in tales to give me back my breakfast?”

“No. A simple ‘David give me back my breakfast’ would have done it,” he said while putting the other half back on my plate.

“Thank you!” I said like somebody who has expected him to do it in the beginning but refused and finally gave in. Oh, wait ...

“Jeez. Someone is cranky.”

I lifted a brow, but he did not notice it. I kept staring at him, and finally, he looked up, mouth full of breakfast, the fork pointing at me. “Ahm doki’g. Ahm dok–” I threw a berry at him. “Hey!” He continued normally. “Stop wasting your delicious breakfast.”

The rest of our breakfast went fine, with occasional comments here and there. When it was time, I walked with him to his office where his advisors and ... others were waiting for him. I knew I could not stay because I had my own thing to do, but I really wished I could just spend a little more time with him. These past days were too long.


	5. Chapter 5

“I had enough!” I shouted and flopped down the seat in the boutique.

“Your Highness, what is wrong?” Ana asked, sitting down next to me.

“Really?” I sighed, trying to calm down. “This thing ... This is ridiculous!”

“What, the dress? I think it is lovely.”

“No. That! You think all the dresses are lovely. And I cannot choose between two and then we are going from boutique to boutique, and we never choose! The wedding is _days_ away, everything else is sorted _but_ my dress!”

Ana chuckled.

“It is really not that funny.”

“No. It is the fact that ... Yes, I think all – well, mostly all – the dresses look lovely on you, but it is not _my_ choice. It is _yours_ , Your Highness. It is _your_ wedding,” she pointed out. “Which two dresses are you caught up on?”

“The second from the first shop and the first from the fourth shop,” I admitted.

She laughed. “Well, then we go back to those shops, pick up those dresses and make one from the two. I think I still can call the dressmaker to come and do it, though it is short notice.”

“Then let’s go.” I stood up and headed towards the changing room to change back from this ruffle-y piece of cloud that they call a wedding dress.

When we went back to the fourth boutique and picked up the dress – that was the one on which I liked the top and the embellishment – then went to the first shop and picked up the dress from there – its skirt was the perfect one – then headed on home. Ana said the dressmaker she knew did not live far, so on our way to her place I explained briefly to Ana what I wanted with the dresses. Of course, when in Tate’s Boutique, I explained it to Lady Tatteina the detailed version of what I wanted with the dresses.

She said we were lucky since the rush of her customers went down yesterday or before – including some of the guests for my wedding – and she only had two dresses to alter, so she said she had time to take the two parts of the dresses and make one in time for the ceremony.

We went back to the palace, and on the way back, I could have finally relaxed, having done everything that needs to be done. David’s suit was ready two days ago and is resting in his wardrobe. The menu is checked and double-checked, the seating, the décor and everything concerning the reception is prepared. The ceremony will take place in one of the nearby churches. The ceremony is not only us getting married but me getting crowned Queen too. No pressure ...

I know I have been royalty since I have been born, but only a daughter of a Count. My sister was supposed to take over as the elder daughter of our father. I was just a Lady, then I came here, and became a Princess, then a Queen ... who has a responsibility for a whole kingdom? I should be ready for it, but then ... why do I not feel like it?

Back at the palace, I looked for David, but when I found out he was in an important meeting – all his meetings are important – I just went ahead to the library and caught up on my reading.

***

“I was told I might find you here.” David appeared in my vision above the book I was reading about the previous Kings and Queens of Agria. I put the ribbon bookmark attached to the book in-between the pages and put the book down.

“I heard you were in a meeting, I did not want to interrupt,” I said.

“Ah.” He waved. “It was not that interesting.” He sat down next to me on the sofa. “But what is troubling you?”

I scoffed, smiling. “You have to ask?”

“The wedding?”

I gave him a look but then sighed. “Yes. The time I spent doing all these silly things, and then the situation with my dress–”

“What situation?”

“Ah, long story. But it is all fine now. It is getting ready.”

“Aw, and here I thought I might get a peek when you are not in your room.”

“Nice try. What makes you think I will keep it in my room now?” I asked smirking. “You will see it and me in it when everybody else will.”

“All right.” He nodded, giving me a kiss. “I need to show you something. It came today while you were away.” He took my hand and led me out of the library.

“Where are we going?” 

“To the Queen’s Suite.”

“The what now? I will get _another_ room?”

“Yes,” he said, turning back to me, “befitting a Queen.”

“What is wrong with my current room?”

“Uhm, apart from the fact that it is nowhere near my room?” He asked, and though he was turned away from me, I could hear on his voice that he was smiling.

“Here we are!” He announced and opened the white, double doors.

The room was ... wonderful. Cream and burgundy, practically the same as mine but bigger and there was a door on the right-hand side.

“This leads to my room.”

“Oh. Am I a lucky girl?” I asked, stepping to him and putting my arms around his waist. He turned to me and kissed my cheeks.

“This is not all.”

“No?”

Without an answer, he walked over to the wardrobe, opened the doors and led me inside. At the end of it, there was a mannequin dressed up in the Queen’s coronation robes.

“It is yours.”

“Really?”

“Well, is there anyone else besides you who is about become a Queen?”

I almost said, ‘No, but I know one who almost did,’ but I kept my mouth shut.

“It is lovely.” I stroked the robe, and the material felt so soft under my fingers.

“Do you want to try it on?” He asked.

“Can I?”

Again, without an answer, he stepped behind the mannequin and undid the clip in the front and swung it around me. He took the make-shift crown off the mannequin’s head and put it on mine.

“I know it is not quite like the real one, but I hope you understand why we cannot have it right now.”

“No, of course.” I twirled around, looking at myself in the standing mirror on my left. “It is surprisingly not as heavy as I thought it would be.”

“But of course, with your coronation dress it might look and feel a little different,” he said.

“My coronation dress?” I asked, taken aback.

“Yes. You cannot wear your wedding gown for the coronation. If you ask me it makes no sense, needing to change in a short window of time between the two ceremonies ...” He thought aloud.

“Do I _have_ to then? Why cannot I be the first one who does not? It is not like my wedding gown is not appropriate for both the occasions,” I said.

“I suppose.” He thought, and I took the make-shift crown off, then the robe and put it back on the mannequin. “There is no actual rule for this, it is more like a tradition.”

“A tradition. Which I am about to break because no one took the effort of telling me I need two dresses.” I said, sitting down and slightly panicking because there was not enough time to make another dress, especially a special coronation dress. _And I do not have anything that is perfect for the occasion, and if my wedding gown is not appropriate for the coronation, none of my better dresses will be!_

David sat down next to me. “I can hear your thoughts, and I am telling you, you do not need to worry. It would not matter if it is your wedding gown or one of your other dresses, they will not care what you are wearing.”

“No offence, David, but being a royal woman, especially a _Queen_ , is half only about what you wear.” I sighed. “People look at us, judge us, we are never good enough, we are too revealing, we are too covered, too beige, too purple, too this, too that; so yes, appearing in front of the entire kingdom requires every royal women to look their best, especially if it is a coronation, and especially if it is a royal woman’s coronation.”

“Wow. I did not know that.”

“Because you are a man. They do not really care what men wear, they care about their looks. And their ability to lead.”

“Wow. Thanks.”

“You know how I meant it.

“Yes. We are both being judged by the shallow people. Personally, I do not care. I will wear my black suit to the wedding, you will wear your white gown, then I put on my King-y robes, and you put on your Queen-y robes.” He pointed to the mannequin. “Is that all right with you?”

“Yes.”

“I will be by your side, as long as we live, and soon you will have the power to send anyone who bothers you away to wherever. Of course, within the Province,” he added.

I laughed. “I do not think that would make the people love me more. Well, more like hate me and look at me as some sort of a villain.”

“They will not. It is not possible. You are the kindest and most caring woman I have met and only my love for you outshines your people’s love for you,” he said and kissed me long and soft.


	6. Chapter 6

“I so nervous I am going to see my breakfast.”

I was getting ready, sitting in my bathrobe, the only thing to do was put on my dress which hung hauntingly in front of me on the back of the door.

Ana and Sally sat down next to me while Imogen murmured something about my puffy face. Feeling nauseous still, I tried to just block their chatter out, closing my eyes, tried to send my mind far from here, somewhere less busy, somewhere quiet where there was only me.

_Knock, knock._

My eyes darted open, and I stood up. Playing with my fingers, I watched as Imogen opened the door just enough for her to see outside, but not for us to see who was there.

“Sally, can you let me in to see her?”

“I am Imogen, Your Majesty, and no, I cannot,” she said.

“Then can you let her out for a minute?”

“No. You will see her when everybody else will.”

“Imogen, a minute will not do any harm,” I said.

“Jen?” I heard David.

“I am sorry, Your Majesty, Your Highness, but at least this tradition should be kept,” she said, turning to me, then back to him. “The rest of the guests will be here soon, I assume.” She hinted him to go and welcome them.

I heard David sigh, then footsteps retrieving.

“Imog–”

“Let’s get you ready, Your Highness, shall we?” Ana sat me back down in the chair and continued with my hair.

***

“How does it feel?” Ana asked when I was finally in my dress, twirling around in the room.

“It is perfect.”

“And it would look just as perfect _and_ appropriate, might I add, with the coronation robes,” she added. Sally and Imogen have already left, leaving us two here in the final minutes. “Are you feeling better now?”

“Not entirely,” I tried a smile.

“Do not worry. Though I cannot speak from experience, I know that everything will be fine. All you need to do is walk out of here, turn left and walk down to David. Do not worry about anything else for now. Oh, and do not forget to smile.”

“Easy to say.” I took a deep breath and practised walking in the gown and shoes around the room.

***

When it was time, we were standing ready at the doorway, me and Ana and the statue-like guards.

“Ready?”

“As I can be,” I said, and Ana stepped away to find her seat, leaving me alone.

Taking deep breaths, I waited for the music to play, the cue that I need to start walking. When I heard it, taking one last deep breath, I put on a smile and walked down to the turn, then turned left, and the even though the place was filled with people, I only saw David after I spotted him at the front. I did not have to force a smile on my face, it came naturally after that. So did the stepping. All my nervousness vanished as soon as I spotted him, and everything went smoothly.

Stepping up next to him, I took a glance at him, taking in his awe. I did not need to hear it, I saw it in his eyes, but he did whisper a “you are so gorgeous” which woke the butterflies in my stomach.

The whole wedding ceremony went down so quickly that I barely remember it after the excitement took place next to the nervousness which came back half-way through. Only when we were announced husband and wife did I realise it is over, and after our kiss, we walked down the aisle together, holding hands, then back to the room, and change into our coronation gowns which took place right here too.

“I love you so much,” David lifted me up by my waist and twirled me around. When he put me down, our faces were so close to each other, our noses touched, and he was about to kiss me when the door opened then closed just as quickly as it opened. We just laughed on being caught, but he did kiss me, though hurriedly, then we opened the door.

“We need to get her ready,” Ana practically pushed David out the door but did not close it. She dressed me into the coronation robes and jewellery then we were out the door again. Just in the same time did David walk out of the door opposite, all dressed up too, with his crown on his head as well, and we both walked down to the front – again – when Ana hurried back and gave the signal that we are ready.

During the coronation I was not as nervous as I was during the wedding, I guess the hard part was done now. This was more like ... honourable for me. I felt regal and ... in place. Not like before, when I doubted if this was the place for me. It was. I felt it as soon as I was kneeling and getting the crown put on my head, officially crowning me Queen of Agria.

A cheer erupted again, and we all finally exited the church to go back to the palace and celebrate this momentous day.

***

“I do not think I can take another congratulation,” David whispered to me after another guest came over to congratulate then attacked the buffet like everybody else. “Can we go somewhere where we can be alone?”

“We cannot leave right– Good evening, Sir, Milady. I hope everything is to your liking.” I put on a smile for the oncoming guests, surely to congratulate. It was getting rather much now, all our guests coming up, some even twice. And we had quite a few because everyone who is anyone had to be invited, of course.

“We just wanted to give our wishes to the both of you. May you always remember the love shared on this special day. We wish you a lifetime of love!” he said.

“We can hardly wait for the tiptoeing little feet of the heirs of Agria,” she said, which caught me in a stun and almost dropped my drink.

“Care for a dance, Jen?” David came to the rescue.

“Certainly.”

“Excuse us,” David said charmingly so that they caught nothing of the directness of his first sentence. “Sorry, Jen. Please do not feel pressured about it.”

“No, no. I mean, I knew in the beginning that it would end like that ... I mean ... that I would need to give you an heir, but I never would have expected her to just blurt something so hinting out in our presence,” I said, quietly.

“I agree,” he said while we were dancing, his eyes not meeting mine, but looking everywhere, at everyone. “They are hoping we could make something different with Agria than what my father did. Yes, he kept Agria up, but in a level only. I see Agria’s potential, the potential to rise, and they believe we can do something.”

“Why do they think that?”

“It started with your arrival. I was engaged from the first moment, and the circumstances were unusual for the Agrian people. The royal family always married within the Province and to someone of the higher class. They saw something, something that can cause change. Then when we were not exactly following all the traditions, all those little things we did differently that also got out of the palace and to the people, that was another sign for them that we are doing things differently in a good way. They are hopeful,” he said. “And the fact that they are waiting impatiently for us to have a family, for us to continue the royal line suggests that they like the change.”

“But _everyone_ cannot like it. There is somebody who hates the idea of change, there always is.”

“Perhaps, but they are not present, and I do not believe it is somebody who has authority to make these changes go away or to overthrow us, and direct Agria back to its old ways.”

“Well, no, there is definitely no one who has more authority than us.”

“Me, to be precise,” he said, straightening up, with a broad smile on his face.

I shook my head, and we continued the dance silently, enjoying each other’s company, and the fact that we can at least have a few minutes.

“Hey, David?”

“Yes?”

“When do we open the presents?”

“When we are finally alone. They are in the next room, but there is so much I think we will need a day to open them all,” he thought. 

“Also, where are we going for our honeymoon? You never did tell me.” I asked, smiling.

“It is a secret. A surprise,” he said.

“Aw, David, tell me.” I plead, but he kept quiet and smiling.

***

Going through all those pretty boxes and bags that had covered the two round tables in the room next to the reception room where we held our wedding reception, took us three hours; however, it seemed much more. There were some items which neither me nor David could identify, either simply for what it was or what its use was.

But, of course, there were those usual ones, jewellery for me, from which my favourite is a tiara, though I do not think I will be wearing it much since I have my crown to wear, but on special occasions maybe ... There were antiques too, and vases and bowls and plates though the latter were more of a décor than for eating from it. Crystal candlesticks and porcelain figures like horses and elephants, and even a porcelain doll with a note saying that it is for the future Princess. Rugs and clocks, there was even a box of cigars and though none of us had ever had the need to use them, David joked with trying one.

Needless to say, there were a lot of good gifts, almost equally divided between things that were for all of us, or for me, or for David and even for our heir. This surprised me even though it was expected that people would think ahead to the future and bless us with items for a baby even if it was not planned yet. David and I were happy, and we did want a baby soon, but now we wanted to focus on us and getting settled as the King and Queen of Agria. 


	7. Chapter 7

However good I thought these months have been, however hard I tried to ignore what was in front of my eyes, what I simply did not _want_ to happen, did not want to _be_ ; it always found a way of prying itself in front of my eyes and plant itself into my head.

Around two weeks after we came back from our lovely honeymoon, I started noticing things – which turned out to mean that I am with child; with David’s child, with our _heir_ – was when David started to distance himself.

First, I did not think anything of it, but weeks later when I looked back on the time we spent with each other since our honeymoon – which was incredibly small even if we were governing our province together –, I _did_ notice.

I noticed how tired he was after meetings and how he just tiredly kissed my cheek as a good night’s kiss, or how he missed a breakfast or two or dinner, and the smaller things of course. There was a slight change in the tone of his voice. Sometimes he lost the sweetness in his voice, even though it was one of the rarer times when we were spending time together and found himself talking to me like to one of his advisers, not his wife.

When I found out I was carrying his child, and I was sure of it, I wanted to tell him. I tried all week, but I either got scared because of his mood or what happened before we talked, like on a meeting. I did realise that it was silly and that nothing is more important than telling him that he will be a father, so I tried harder, but that is when I started only seeing him during mealtimes.

I am a Queen, yes, the Queen of Agria, but that does not mean I do the same things as David. We have the work divided for us. He takes care of the finances and the arms and the imports and exports and some other bigger ones, and I take care of everything else. A Queen is a ruler just like a King, but still less because that is the world that we live in ...

And since we had an agreement with Fern about the import items we need, it took several weeks of discussions and meetings and rearranging. Today was a day when David was in a meeting just about this, but it was the last day of the week, and I made a promise to myself that I will tell him sometime this week, which did not happen yet, so I walked down to the room they were sitting in and waited in front of the door. But since I was nervous and impatiently sitting was not exactly working, but neither did pacing and as I found out the guard standing in front of the door was getting worried as well.

“Is everything all right, Your Majesty?”

“Wh– Oh, yes. Yes. I am just ...” I pointed to the door, then took my hand back quickly. It was not very ladylike to point to things. “I just need to talk to David for a minute.”

“I am afraid this will go on for a while if we take into consideration how all the others have been so far,” he said.

“Whatever do you mean? Are all his meetings this long?” I asked.

“He usually has three a day, but the matter of the import is the most fragile. I do not mean to eavesdrop, but sometimes when the gentlemen or His Majesty raises his voice, it is audible even here on the corridor, and I can tell that it is a complicated matter.”

I looked away from him, not commenting on the fact that he was listening in on his meetings which are supposed to be confidential. I am sure he did not tell a soul. Otherwise, the day I find out he did will be his last.

“I need to talk to him,” I muttered not particularly to him.

“Do you want me to call him out, Your Majesty?” he asked, with curiosity.

I thought about it, considered what the guard said, that the meeting could take hours, and if the matter could wait that long. _Well ... since it waited a week already, it can,_ I thought. _No! You need to stop this. You go and tell him now!_

“Your Majesty? Would you like me to call His Majesty out?” The guard asked again.

“Yes. Please. Call him out.” I decided.

The guard nodded, and after knocking on the door and gaining entry, he stepped in, leaving the door open just a bit, but I still could not hear them over my rapidly beating heart. When I saw the guard step out, and David following behind a second later, my heart skipped a beat. This was it; I will tell him he is going to be a father, and he can finally listen.

“Something wrong, Jen?”

“Nothing is wrong, I just wanted to tell you something,” I said. I held myself back from blurting the news out, but I also did not want to take too much time away from him.

“What is it?” He asked flatly.

“You are going to be a father,” I said finally, smiling widely, but his reaction was not what I expected.

He closed his eyes and sighed. “Is that why you asked me out of the meeting!?”

I took a step back. “I wanted to tell you all week, but you were busy! I thought you are going to be a bit happier than this.”

“I am happy! But I really do not have the time now. We will talk later. We are almost done with the agreement with Fern, and I need to concentrate,” he said, and without any follow-up, he just turned around and went back into the room, shutting the door after him. I faintly heard him say, “Sorry about that, gentlemen. Nothing is going to disturb us now,” and I never wanted to cry so hard in my life.

For some moments, I just stood there, playing the scene in my head over and over again ...

_Is that why you asked me out of the meeting!?_

... trying not to cry ...

_I really do not have the time now. We will talk later._

... and failing, while walking away with my heart shattered.

_I need to concentrate._

I really did think that he would be a bit happier.

_Is that why you asked me out of the meeting!?_

I would have settled for a weak smile as a sign of happiness.

_Is that why you asked me out of the meeting!?_

I did not even notice that I was in my room until I stepped in. I walked to my desk and sat down in the chair. The book I read last was still there and not on the shelf with the rest, and there was a reason for it. David had given me a beautiful purple flower he found, and since I did not want it to wilt, I pressed it between the pages and just between the right pages of that book because there was one description of a flower the main character was given which resembled slightly of my flower. Opening the book now, I brushed my finger along the petals, letting my tears roll down my cheeks and one landing on the page, just by the flower.

I shut the book hastily, feeling anger rising in me, and put it back down where it was, but I noticed a letter underneath it. Opening it and re-reading it I remembered it was from one of my friends from back in Giardia, Nova. My last letter was sent to her when I found out I was pregnant. I tell her everything, and I fully trust that she would never tell a soul – though I did explicitly say that she cannot. Not _this_ news.

She did not know about the downhill in my relationship with David, I have not had the heart to tell her, in case it will be solved before I found myself writing to her about it. I folded the letter back and put it among the others in the little compartment of my desk that I announced my personal letter compartment.

Then I had a thought, a terrible but tempting thought. I looked at my pen next to the inkpot and the stack of letter papers in the drawer and letting my feelings overcloud my better judgement. I started to form the letter.

When I finished, I called Ana up.

“Is everything all right, Your Majesty?” She asked, and I heard on her voice that she was a bit worried. I do not usually call her up, we would have set meetings, so I can understand why she feels this could be a bit strange.

“I would like you to escort me into the town. I need some fresh air; a walk. I also have something to do while I am there,” I said, finishing the address on the envelope and closing it.

“Certainly. Let me collect my cloak.”

“Meet me at the front gate. We will walk, it is not that far, and the weather is lovely.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

***

“May I ask what it is you have to do, Your Majesty?” Ava asked me quietly. She knew it was not a question you would ask your Queen, but since she was also my friend, and I told her previously that she may ask me anything she likes or confide in me whenever she would need; she dares to ask it, though I know that there is still a line drawn what she keeps at a distance and dares not to cross.

“I need to post a letter to a friend. I always do this myself. Not that I do not trust the staff in the palace, but this is personal, and ... I just wanted to do it myself.”

We stopped at the post office, and she turned to me, curiosity and understanding in her eyes. “I understand. Should I wait for you outside?”

I nodded. “Please. I will not be a minute.” I brushed her arm, smiling and stepped in the building.

“Ah, Your Majesty, Queen Jen! What can I do for you? I have not seen you in a while.” The man behind the counter, Jefferson, greeted me.

“Good day, Sir. I am here to post a letter to my friend.”

“Oh, the secret friend in the secret place that I know nothing about?” He winked and smiled.

The first few times he was a little too curious about the address on the envelope and asked too many questions, but I made him swore not to breathe anything about it to a soul. He swore he will not tell a soul, and to this day, he has kept his word, and I sincerely hope he would; for his sake.

“Yes. But remember ...”

“Yes, yes.” He stood up and turned behind him to put my letter in the first-class pile, between the urgent letters, that need to be delivered right away.

After I paid for it – I still had to – then when I exited the building, I noticed Ava standing on the other side of the road, at a vendor’s stand. I went over there to look at what she had to offer, what caught my friend’s attention.

“Ava,” I said, leaving the sentence unfinished purposefully because I had not yet decided if it was a good or bad thing that she was looking at antique objects.

“Your Majesty, I am sorry for wandering off, but I saw her stand, and I wondered if she had it, or something similar to my grandmother’s brooch,” she said. “I am ashamed to say that I lost it a while ago while I was in town, and I wondered if she may have it, but no.” She turned to the vendor. “Thank you anyway.”

“I am sorry about the brooch,” I said to her as we were walking away.

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” she said with sadness.

I linked my arm up with hers, and we continued our walk around the town. We only arrived back to the place a couple hours later, and though I was afraid that David or somebody else will come rushing and worrying where I was, and that I was missed and all but no. Nobody but the guards were standing in the hall. Ava and I separated as she went to attend to her tasks, and I went to my room to read some boring reports. 


	8. Chapter 8

_Knock, knock._

“Come in,” I said, not turning from my answer to one of the reports.

“Your Majesty, a letter came from you,” the man said.

“Thank you,” I said slowly as I finished the sentence. I put the pen down and stood and turned around to face him. He gave me the letter and left, bowing, and as he was out the door, the letter was already open, and I was reading what Nova had written to me.

_Dear Jen,_

_Though I had hoped you will write to me soon, I would not have thought it would be in these circumstances. I am sad to hear about you and David, but I cannot believe he would have said something had it not come from you directly._

_There are some rumours of you two around here too, I gather whoever told whatever to whomever, has reached this far, ... but I do not believe a word of it! Oh, but I dare not to repeat them, Jen. They make you both look so awful. I guess old habits die hard in the elderly’s minds. Some people have still not forgiven your father, though it was such a long time ago. Or at least it feels like it has._

_But about your question, for sure you can visit us. I will be most delighted that you will visit, and we will see each other once again. Though there are a few things that arose some questions in me, we can talk about it when you get here._

_Yes, I know when it would be a safe time for you to come here and at night as you asked, though I do not understand. The next ship from Agria that would be good for you would leave the southern harbour at eleven, five days from the date on this letter._

_I know the captain – everybody in my town knows him. He and his men are the ones who bring the goods from the cities to the towns like mine, but I think it would take a little bargaining to convince him to take you onto his ship, and it would be a wise choice to have a little more gold on you than you would expect to spend. You never know._

_I have a feeling this would not be a typical visit, so I feel the need to say to pack lightly and pack only what you can carry yourself and what is not resembling a queen. I can provide clothes for you if you would require them. Oh, and be safe. See you when you get here. I will be waiting for you at the docks._

_Nova_

I felt so happy after I read it, I held the letter close to my chest, then another knock came from the door.

“Come in.”

“Your Majesty,” Sally came in. “Dinner is served in the Dining Hall.” She paused for a second. “His Majesty is already there.”

 _This is the happiest day of my life. I get a confirming letter from my friend, and David is finally joining me for a meal,_ I thought. But then it struck me. _What if the ice between us will melt while we dine, what if he will realise what he has done wrong and apologise? And we could finally be the family I, we both, dreamed of? I cannot leave if this will happen._

“I will be down in a minute,” I said to Sally, who exited the room. I looked at the letter again, scanning through the words and I have decided. Depending on tonight and tomorrow, I will determine if I will visit Nova or not.

***

Stepping into the Dining Hall, I saw David at the table, his nose buried in something that I did not think was the dinner. That sort of took away part of the excitement and hopes I had for tonight, but with my head held high, I walked up to the table and sat down to my seat.

“Evening, darling,” said David only glancing up for a second.

“Hello, David,” I said back. “Is that something important?” I asked while peeking into the paper, trying to read it.

“Uh, no. Not really,” he murmured as he crossed a line over and wrote something on the margin. “Just a report. I gather you are done with yours?”

Just then the servants came in, bringing our food and setting it down in front of us. They poured drinks and adjusted things and meanwhile, David looked half-buried in his report now. His head was turned forward, and his right hand was on the utensils, but his eyes were still on the paper, scanning it, searching for more to correct.

When the servants exited the room, and it was just the two of us, I spoke, “No, I have one more left to do. I am wondering if I should have brought it with me, then you could maybe help me with it.” I lifted my spoon and blew on the soup for it was hot, while not looking at David on my left.

“You know that you have to do it on your own, Jen.” He finally looked away from the paper and started eating his dinner. _Of all the things I expected of him to say, this was not one of them,_ I thought.

“Well, then, I guess I should finish my dinner quickly so that I can get back to it and finish it for you sooner than later.”

“M-hm,” he murmured, and the rage, as well as the sadness and disappointment, grew in me rapidly. Grabbing my spoon tightly, I ate in silence while occasionally glancing towards him. He did not seem to notice, but he spent less time reading the paper now that he started eating.

I was considering hinting it to him that I was expecting an apology of some sort from him, but I was not sure how it would turn out. I did not want to deepen the crack between us, but I was really hurt when he said that.

But after a while, I could not bear this silence any longer, so I said, “David, I need to say something.”

“Yes? What is it?”

“I sort of expected you to say something about that time I called you of the meeting.”

“Well, funny, you should say that because I expected you too to say something about it.”

I was shocked. “Me? What do you want me to say?”

“To apologise,” he said. “I was a really important meeting, and I had to explain why I needed to step out. Saying that my wife had something to say did not really help.”

“You do not even remember what I said,” I said slowly and quietly, feeling crushed.

He did not answer right away, and I did not know if he was thinking or silently saying that no, he does not remember.

“I am sure whatever it was, you can say it again now.” When he said this, his tone was not cold, but I could not have felt it more distant.

“No, no, you are right. I should not have disturbed you with my petty things to say.”

“Well, was that so hard?” He smiled and resumed eating, satisfied.

_He dared to smile._

And just then the second meal came in with the servants, and though David did not, I am sure the servant who put my plate in front of me, did sense my anger rising through the roof of the palace, and maybe that is why he scurried away quickly. As soon as he was a bit further away from me, I stood up, pushing my chair back, which caused a loud noise to what everyone looked up. Even David.

“Thank you, but I am not hungry anymore. Will you please put it aside for me?” I asked in the general direction of the servants. “I will finish it later.” I stepped aside and pushing my chair back into place, I walked towards the door and exited without anyone calling after me.

My hands clenched in fists I held back my tears until I was away from the Dining Hall. Turning in onto one of the corridors, I dropped down onto the sofa by the window and let my tears flow. Ironically it was a clear night, and the last rays of the sun poked out behind the hills just as the sun was ducking behind them. I still heard a few of the birds’ songs, and that is when I decided.

I stood up and wiped the tears off my face. I walked back to my room and sprinting into the wardrobe, I reached for my travelling bag on the top shelf. I remembered Nova telling me in her letter to pack lightly and non-queen-like. Luckily, I have two plain dresses. I use those dresses as under-dresses, on top of which I wear a decorated vest-like top dress. Packing those plain dresses would be fine, I could ask Nova for something to wear on top of them.

 _But what would I wear on the day?_ I thought. I took one of the dresses out and set it aside as something that I would wear when I am travelling. I packed my plainest two pairs of shoes and some other things. The fact that I could close the bag without struggling or without it being full said something. I lifted the bag and found out that it was so light, I could still pack some things if I needed to.

The most challenging thing would be getting gold. I never had any on me when I did not need to; every time I go somewhere, I visit the treasury just before and grab some gold for the day. But going now, at this hour would be suspicious. Even from me.

I stepped to my desk and looked at the letter Nova sent to me. The date was four days ago, – it takes two days for anything to cross the sea between the two lands – so it will be tomorrow night when I will have to be gone. So, if I go tomorrow sometime after lunch, it would be perfect. Looking back to the wardrobe, to my packed bag, I was thinking about what else I would need, but nothing. I have got everything besides the gold, which I will get tomorrow; therefore, I am ready to go.


	9. Chapter 9

When I woke up in the morning, I woke up earlier than I usually do, and this must have something to do with what I planned to do tonight. Keeping my plan and how to execute it in mind, I got dressed and went for a walk to calm my nervously beating heart down before breakfast.

As I passed the part of the palace where David’s office and room are, I looked up at the window longingly, hoping to either see him or not. See him simply to see him, and not see him to know that he is not working himself to death.

I have not noticed any lights on nor the window being open. I have also not seen any shadows or movement, so I continued to walk.

After I made a full circle around the palace, zoning out, travelling far away into the depths of my thoughts, I realised it was well into the time of breakfast. Having my appetite gone, I returned to my room and found Sally and Imogen there.

“Your Majesty,” they looked up, stunned to see me. “We thought you are in the dining hall.”

“No,” I went to sit down at my vanity. “I went for a walk.” I added, and without waiting for a reply, I continued, “Also, I need to go to the treasury.”

“Are you going out today?”

I took the bush into my hand, and Imogen seeing this, came to brush my hair out and started to put it up nicely as they always do.

“I am,” I answered, hiding my smile, but letting it show ever so slightly.

“I will let them know.”

“Just tell them I will be going before lunch. That would be enough,” I corrected.

“As you wish.”

***

I am grateful for having so nice maids, not asking any questions. For one, I forgot to put the plain dress away, and they must have seen it, but instead of doing anything with it, they just hung it up on the back of the wardrobe door. Also, with me needing to go to the treasury. They did not ask questions, they just let them know I will be coming.

Now, on my way, I feel more confident than yesterday, strolling down the corridors, having nothing better to do yet.

“Your Majesty,” the man inside greeted me as the guards let me in. “What brings you here today?”

“I need some gold. For today.”

“Are you going out again?” His tone was not accusatory, nor was it annoyed. It was a simple question.

“I am. Towards the afternoon, but I wanted to get this done before lunch.”

“Does the King know?”

“He will. As usual. But he never minds my outings. Not that it is any of your business,” I added, looking aside.

“Forgive me, Your Majesty.” He bowed and stepped to grab me one of the little pouches from the shelf behind him. I thought he will only give me one, but instead, he plopped two of them down in front of me. I looked at them then up at him, questioningly. “I have a feeling you might need two tonight,” he added. “Have a nice trip.”

I took the two before he can take them back and looked at him suspiciously for a second, but erased the expression thinking he might become suspicious at my suspicion about him.

“Thank you. Good day!” I said and left the room. I put the pouches in my pockets and went back to my room, getting ready for the afternoon.

***

After having done as much as I could of my work – which was all of it that was left –, and after another Fernish lesson which was the highlight of my day, I spent my spare time in the library reading and rereading books to take my mind off tonight.

Having had enough of the library and its breeziness, I took my two books and went back to my room. I spotted the letter from Nova on my desk and realised, I will not make it to the docks alone. I would need someone who can sneak me out of the palace.

I called Imogen, Sally and Ana up and when they saw the other two, they were surprised, thinking why I could have called them all up.

“Honest question,” I motioned for them to sit down while I sat at my desk. “Which one of you is more trustworthy with a secret neither the King nor anyone else can know about before time?”

They were all quiet for a moment; then they all looked at Sally.

“What? Me?” She looked at the other two, surprised.

“What is this about, Your Majesty? A surprise to the King?” Ana asked, sincerely.

“Of some sort, yes, but I am serious about no one knowing about this, Sally. Not even the girls,” I added.

“I understand, Your Majesty.”

“Thank you. Then may I speak to her privately?” I asked, and without words, but only a small curtsy, the other two girls left. I sat next to Sally and waited a few moments before I knew for sure they went. Not that I did not trust them, I did, but I really did not want this information to get out before time, and I know it will, one way or another.

“Your Majesty, you are scaring me. What is wrong?”

I sighed and picked up the letter from the desk, and while she read it, I sat back down and straightened my skirt.

“No. Please, Your Majesty, you cannot mean this!” She handed the paper back to me, and I folded it back up.

“I do.”

“Do you want me to escort you?” she asked after a moment.

“As much as I would like you to, I cannot ask you to do that. This will have to be a secret. You cannot tell anyone. I know they will find out,” I stood to put the letter back into the compartment for my personal letters, “sooner or later, one way or another, but I do not want them to know before time.”

“Why, may I ask?”

“Sort of a test. A sick one I know, but as much as I would like to get away from here for a while, I want to see after how much time would he notice I am gone.”

“This is wrong, Your Majesty.”

“I feel like this is the only way. I do not plan to be there for more than a week, I am hoping it will only have to be that long.”

“What do you require of me?”

“I would like you to take me out of the palace with the least of the people seeing me.” I sat down again. “I know you know the servants’ passages, and I am wondering if you know a time under the cover of the night for me to get out of here and get to the docks by eleven.”

“Your Majesty, I plead you one more time, consider this.”

“I have Sally, I have been deciding if I should or should not for the past few days since I have sent a letter to which I have received this.” I pointed to the desk, to where it was. “The way David acted the past days, weeks ... I have had enough. I need to get away from here for a while.”

Sally did not say anything for a while, we just sat in silence, then she turned to me, “I will do it. I cannot say no.”

“You can. I am not forcing you, this is not a command. If you do not want to help me with this, if you feel like this is too much for you, all it would result in is that I will go alone.”

“No. I will escort you to the docks. I would not be able to bear if something happened to you just because I was not there because I was afraid.”

“Thank you, Sally,” I hugged her. “Thank you.”

“We need to leave at ten at the latest. I will come back at nine-thirty to get you ready.”

I looked at her, thankful and silent because there were not enough “thank you”-s on the world to express how grateful I was.

***

I told the servants that I would like to dine in my room tonight. At dinner time, there was a knock on my door, and opening it, a servant stood there, with the trolley of food, covered. I let him in, and as he placed it by the sofa as they usually did when I ordered my food up, they left.

I know I should have eaten something before we left, but I could not. Instead, I wrapped them up and put them aside for the way to Giardia and put them in my bag, carefully, not to squash them or get it everywhere.

I have already changed clothes after I put the food away and since I still had lots of time on my hand, but was too nervous to read, I decided to try to get some sleep before Sally comes. I knew she would wake me up if I end up finding sleep.

“Your Majesty!”

“I am up. What is wrong?” I sat up, rubbing my eyes, hearing a voice but not yet seeing it.

“It is Sally, Your Majesty, it is time to go,” she was whispering, and suddenly it all came to me. Practically bolting out of my bed, grabbed my coat, and in the meanwhile, Sally grabbed my bag. She had nothing on her, just her coat.

“I am ready.” I turned to her.

“What about His Majesty? Does he usually come in? Would he not see that you are not here?” She asked, nodding to the door leading to his room.

That door has not been touched for quite some time.

“Do not worry about that. Really.” I tried to smile.

“What about the guard?”

I nodded. “I have a plan.”

As we exited the room, one guard was standing by my door, and I know he spotted us, though he did not give it away, I still approached him.

“You have not seen us here tonight, am I understood?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Only when _you directly_ are asked about this, do you say yes, is that clear?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Excellent.” I turned to Sally, who still looked doubtful, but led the way.

She led me through the servants’ corridors, and we ended up at the west side of the palace.

“Why are we on the west side? We need to get to the north side to get out.” I looked around.

“Do not worry, Your Majesty, just follow me. We are not leaving through the main gate, that is guarded too heavily. The west gate that the deliveries and the servants enter through is less guarded,” she explained.

I nodded. “Lead the way then.”

As it turned out, the guard at the west gate was not there, and I made a mental note about this to be addressed once this all went down. Because of this, we could slip out unnoticed.

“A horse?” I spotted one further from the gate, hidden from the palace by some bushes.

“Did you plan to _walk_ to the docks?” She turned back to me, her tone resembling a mother scolding a child – which I did not mind at this moment for I was realising all the faults in my plan and thanking the moment I choose to have someone with me and that she accepted. “Come, I will help you up,” she said and got on the horse.

As I walked up, I noticed the saddle is not what women ride in, but I kept my mouth shut. Sally extended her hand down to me and took my bag first. Trying to hold onto the front of the saddle, I helped myself up, swinging my leg over the horse as the men do.

“Ready?” Sally turned back, ready to go. I put my arms around her waist, not having anything else to hold onto, and nodded.

Sooner than I would have expected, we were at the docks. We got off the horse and lucky us, there was a clocktower nearby that said I still had twenty more minutes until eleven.

I turned to her. “I am eternally grateful for this, Sally. How can I repay you for doing this for me?”

“Just come back safe.” She smiled, and I leant in to hug her. “Also, I would like to visit my family someday.” She broke away. “We servants get little time off, and I miss them.”

“Whatever you want, it is yours.” I held her hand. “Thank you again.” I picked up my bag and headed for the only cargo ship in the harbour.

Finding the captain was easy, he wasn’t the quietest. I just followed the voice that came from the ship and found him standing on something, towering above us, shouting something to his crew. One of them spotted me, and the captain must have seen him stop work to look at me, and therefore he turned around to find out why. Seeing me, a smile spread across his face as he jumped off the barrels as I saw it now.

“Are you lost, my dear?”

“I am exactly where I am supposed to be, if this is the ship going to Giardia,” I answered as confidently as I could have at the moment.

“And if it is?” He was playing with me. I saw it in his eyes from the moment he asked me if I was lost that he knew why I was here.

“Then I would like a place on this ship, without any trace that I was ever here.” Before he could say anything else, I threw him one of the pouches.

He raised it a bit as if thanking it, and said, “For keeping it a secret.” I knew what he meant. He wanted just as much for giving me a place on the ship.

I showed him that I have another one. “You will get this when we dock in Giardia. I give you my word.”

“A word of a woman means nothing to me.” He threw the pouch into the air and caught it and repeated as he talked.

“Then I suggest inspecting the pouch I gave you. Then you will believe me.” The string you tied it with, on its ends it had the King’s seal, pressed into them. I saw him turn it towards the light, then pocketing the pouch.

“After you, milady,” he bowed and extended his arm. “Carry on, you useless rats! This ship leaves in ten minutes!” He barked orders to his mean as he led me on board.

Going down into the ship, he led me past the cargos, and at the back, there were a few cabins. They were small, but at least they had a door and a window.

“I hope your word is as trustworthy as you say it is,” he breathed, but his closeness sent shivers down my spine. Because we were standing in the cabin, I could not move, but hold out until he said what he wanted to. “... because if I find you lying, I will not care you are a Queen.” He paused. “ _No_ _one_ lies to me.”

“Believe me when I say,” I turned my head aside to sort of face him, “I would like to arrive in Giardia as I came to this dock. My word _can_ be trusted. No one can prove me wrong.”

“Welcome on board then, my Queen,” he bowed mockingly. “Enjoy the ride,” he added and left.

I looked around in the cabin, but there was not much to look at. There was a cot and a desk, occupying the two walls, and on the wall opposite the door was a circular window that faced the water. If I looked out and turned my head right, I could see some of the crew still moving boxes.

I put my suitcase on the desk, knowing I will not use it during the time I will spend on board, and sat down on the bed. I took the pouch into my hand and smiled.

After I got the gold and went back to my room, I took half of one of the pouches and while I emptied the other pouch’s contents into a stocking, I filled the now empty pouch with the half of the other pouch.

I didn’t want to give him _all_ the gold I had, and I was hoping he would accept it. What he will get is one pouch of the two. Thinking now that I could use the other one for the way back when it would come to that – since I can’t use Agrian gold in Giardia – I put the pouch back into my pocket.

When I heard – and felt – that we were leaving the docks, my face was glued to the window. Suddenly guilt grew in me, little but enough to make me doubt my intentions were for the right reasons, but now there was no way back. I had to go through this.


	10. Chapter 10

Arriving at the Giardian docks two days later, I scanned the crowd for Nova.

“Milady?” The captain called me, and I knew what he wanted. I told him – more than once during the journey – that he’ll get the remaining he was due.

“Here,” I said with a smile and after throwing the pouch towards him, – he caught it with one hand effortlessly – I headed into the crowd, thinking I spotted Nova’s fiery hair.

Looking around at the workers and the people, I felt more out of place than ever. This is my homeland, that won’t change, but I don’t think I could call it “home” again ... though I feel the same way about Agria.

Walking out of the docks and towards the town, I couldn’t help but marvel at this life, the life my former people lived, and wonder what they’d do if they’d known if was me, Jen, under the cloak. I shook my head at this impossible thought, they’d probably shoo me back onto the ship.

“Khloe!” I heard someone shout, and I looked up and smiled. “Khloe” was how I signed my name on our letters with Nova, so I knew that the person calling me could only be her. I looked up and around and saw a fiery red-haired woman hurry towards me.

“Nova!” I put my suitcase down to hug her as soon as she came nearer. She wore a light brown skirt with a cream top under a blood-red vest and the same coloured cloak around her as her skirt. Her hair was let down but half tied up with a thin white ribbon keeping it tied.

I looked at myself in my plainest but still not the best dress and let down hair. I had to let my hair down so that people would not recognise me right away. I always wore my hair up in Agria, it was required of me, and people rarely if ever saw me otherwise. My thick, brown hair now covering the side of my face was a nice attempt at a disguise, as well as my cloak and hood on my head for it was raining ever so slightly – as if the mist sat all around us, notable on our skin as we walked through it.

“Come, let’s get you out of here,” Nova added quieter, and smiling, I followed her.

She led me into town and stopped in front of an inn. Unsurely, I pointed towards the building, but she just chuckled and waved me after her.

She led me behind the inn, towards what looked like outside boxes for horses. Sure enough, I did see a few, standing under the slanted roofs, and Nova walked over to the last two on the left.

“She’s yours,” she nodded towards the last one while she petted the other and spoke to it quietly.

“You rode here?” I asked, extending my hand towards my horse to let him sniff it, to familiarise herself with me so I’m not a complete stranger.

“Of course,” Nova chuckled. “I don’t live far. A few hours’ ride and we’re there,” she said, smiling, and opened the box door to lead her horse out. I did the same and as I saw her mount her horse, I had a question.

“What do I do with my suitcase?”

“Oh,” she said, dismounted and came over. Together we tied it to the saddle then she helped me up and got up on her horse again herself. “Let’s go. I can’t wait to show you where I live. It’s a beautiful place.” She headed for the street and I followed.

Sure enough, when we came out of the path in the woods, a village spread out in front of us on a beautifully green hill. About a dozen houses and twice their sizes of pens filled with animals lay on the land. All the houses looked very similar to each other, and the market in the middle was booming with life – even after the rain, which was gone now, and sunshine took its place. After all, it was the last days of summer.

“Nova!” I said in awe.

“See?” She said with a wide smile and went on ahead.

She headed towards the left, and I followed, and as it turned out, their house was the first one.

There was a little, muddy pen by the house for the pigs, but the bigger one lay behind with two cows. I heard some chickens as well, from somewhere.

We dismounted and took the horses behind the house into the stables.

“I’ll send Jay and Robbie out to care for the horses – they love doing that for some reason. Probably getting muck on themselves more than feeding or grooming them, but oh well.” She untied the rope keeping my suitcase up, I took it from her, and we headed for the house.

Stepping in, she called for her mother, whose voice came from the kitchen on the left. There was no door but an open archway and through it, I saw a wooden dining table with six chairs and some cabinets behind it and the right half of a window overlooking the woods we just came from.

On the right was the living room, a big fireplace and a sofa in front of it. To the right of the fireplace was an armchair with an embroidered pillow on it and a small bookshelf beside it, filled to the brim with books of all sorts.

Between the kitchen and the living room was a short and narrow, windowless corridor. I was just about to see what that was, where it led when I heard Nova call for me from the kitchen.

I turned around to see her head pop out of the room and she waved me over.

On my way there, I took my cloak off and put it over the sofa. Shyly I stepped into the kitchen where I saw Nova’s mother dry her hands while saying something to her daughter in a hushed tone.

“Ahh, Khloe,” she said when she saw me. “Welcome. Sit. Dinner is ready. Nova, call your brothers back from the stables.”

Without a word, Nova left the house. Her voice could be heard from inside the house, with closed windows, as she told her brothers to wash up and come inside. Then some laughing and a scream from Nova. That made me smile.

“Do you have siblings?” Nova’s mother asked me.

“Y– No,” I said quickly. “But if I had, I would wish for an older sister,” I said, smiling, hoping it was a nice and unnoticeable save.

She smiled back and handed me the plates to put on the table.

“I can’t help but notice your dress,” she said, with her back turned to me, taking the cutlery out of their place.

I looked down. Sure, the bottom hem of my dress was a little muddy from outside, but so was Nova’s, and we have not exactly had the time to change since we arrived. Otherwise, I noted nothing strange about it, so I looked up, wondering about what she could’ve meant.

“You’re not Giardian, are you?”

I let out a slightly relieved but still cautious chuckle. “No. What gave it away?”

“The style.” She set the cutlery down. “It is not found here, you know. Ours is still a bit ...”

“Old-fashioned?” I asked, still smiling.

“Yes,” she said slowly, bringing the pot. “Agrian, isn’t it?”

Unable to find my words, I just nodded. Luckily, that’s when the boys and Nova came back into the house, making a racket, arguing about something.

“Boys! Behave, we have a guest.” Their mother stepped out of the kitchen, standing in front of me. “Go wash up before dinner. You too, girls. I won’t have you drag mud around my house,” she said and added an “I just cleaned the place” very quietly at the end.

Nova waved me after her, smiling. The short, dark and narrow corridor I noted earlier had a door on the left and a winding staircase on the right. Nova opened the door and there was a washroom behind it and a door leading out, I presumed to the back pens and stables. Surprisingly, the boys were nowhere to be seen. Just when I was about to ask about it, I heard rumbling from upstairs and a shout of “Boys!” from their mother.

Nova gave me a pair of slippers to put on and pointed to a jug of water with a bowl beside it. While I was washing my face and hands, I heard rumbling down the stairs and the boys’ giggling. Then I heard their mother say something, but I couldn’t make it out.

Nova washed her face and hands after me, and when we were done, we headed back to the kitchen where the remaining two plates were filled with steaming food as well.

It was a bit odd, I admit, being in this tiny house with only us five living in it and more than one animal per person, but I liked it. It was quiet and peaceful. No expectations of the stressful sort, just mundane things like how many eggs we had collected and the washing we’re “drowning” in. I have never lived like this, so unless Nova gives me some pointers, I will stick out like a sore thumb and give myself away in a matter of hours – days if I’m lucky.

“You look like the Princess,” Jay, Nova’s brother, said as we started eating. Nova’s mother sat at the head of the table, Nova on her right and Jay on her left. Robbie sat beside his brother and opposite me, as I sat next to Nova.

“Jay!” His mother told him off at the same time as Nova asked, “Which Princess?”

“The one from across the water,” he said, not looking up from spooning his dinner hungrily.

“Queen Jen?” asked Nova, nervously, luckily not glancing towards me otherwise that would have been a giveaway to her mother.

He nodded. “Yes.”

“You know,” I started since Nova gave me a clueless look on what to do with this conversation. Luckily, Jay had not looked up from his food or he would have noticed his sister’s expression, though I am not sure if he would have had understood what was going on. “I got that quite a few times,” I said, finally.

He looked up and looked at me, then turned back to his dinner as he said, “But your nose is bigger than hers.”

“Jay!” His mother snapped and gave me an apologetic look.

“It is fine,” I said to her and turned back to Jay. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No. You are still pretty.” He smiled at me, and that was the end of the conversation.

After dinner, Nova showed me around – meaning upstairs and at the back where the animals were and introduced me to everyone.

Since there were only four beds upstairs, I got to sleep on the sofa, which wasn’t as bad as I thought deep down that it would sound. It was very soft and comfortable, and I was provided with plenty of blankets.

After I washed up for the night and changed clothes and was getting ready for bed, Nova’s mother called me to the kitchen.

The others were already upstairs in their beds, it was late, and their mother was only up to prepare for the next morning.

“Khloe, darling, can you come here for a second?”

I put the pillow back down on the sofa and going around it, I walked towards the kitchen. I realised there was something in her voice, something strange, and when I played her question back in my mind, I understood why.

It is because she did not ask me in Orian.

She asked me in Lennit, in the old language of Giardia.

Stepping into the kitchen, I looked at her unsurely and a bit afraid, not knowing what to expect. She was sitting at the table with two cups of steaming tea in front of her, one of which she was holding and the other one clearly for me.

“Please, sit,” she said, still in Lennit, as she patted the seat next to her while sipping from her drink.

“You know,” I replied quietly, also in Lennit, realising there was no point in keeping my act on, but I was avoiding her face.

“I do.” She nodded, putting her tea down. She slid the other one across the table and stopped it in front of me. It smelled of berries, one of Giardia’s signature teas.

“What gave it away?” I asked.

She sipped from her cup and only continued when she put it down. “When Jay said that you look like Queen Jen, during dinner, it got me thinking. All the little things no one paid attention to, came into the light, and I just put them together.”

I took the cup and drank from it. “You speak the language very well. I thought only the royals spoke it.”

“My parents were ... very traditional,” she said simply. “But what is more interesting than my ability to speak a language that only a few do nowadays, is why would a queen run away from her court?”

“It is a long story,” I said, looking down.

She held her cup close to her mouth, looking at me, clearly telling me that she has time. I sighed and continued.

“It started after the wedding-coronation. He became ... distant. I thought nothing of it at first, just that it is his kingly duties. But then, whenever we saw each other, he was cold and distant with me, seemingly wanting to get rid of me and go do his things. One time,” my voice was about to break, so I stopped for a moment. “One time he ... he shouted at me out of frustration when we were alone. He did not apologise, he just left. A few days later I found out I was with his child, so I decided that within the week I will tell him. The end of the week was here, and I still have not had even that little time with him to tell him he is going to be a father. So, I told the guard outside the room he was in, in a meeting with his advisors, to call him out for a moment. He did come out, huffing, and when he saw me, he just looked at me, clearly annoyed. I told him he is going to be a father, all happy and cheery. But he just looked at me, blank, and do you know what his first response was?”

“What was it?” She asked back.

“‘Is that why you called me out of the meeting!?’” I quoted.

For a moment neither of us said a thing. I drank from my tea, then I continued. “I told him I thought he would be a bit happier than that and he said, ‘I am happy! But I really do not have the time now. We will talk later. We are almost done with the agreement with Fern, and I need to concentrate.’ Without anything else to say, he went back. I stood there, facing the doors long after he was already inside. I did not even have time to ask or say anything to him. I was furious and heartbroken. So, I wrote to Nova,” I finished. “I do want to resolve this, do not get me wrong, but I just needed some time away. I am sure he will not even realise I am gone until it is a few days. If he does at all.”

“Surely someone at the castle will notice you are missing and will tell him.”

“I only told one of my maids what I planned, but she is the most trustworthy of them all, and I swore her not to tell anyone unless they directly asked her about me,” I said. It was another moment when neither of us said another word. Then I asked, “Will you let me stay?”

“Well, I cannot exactly put you out of my house now, can I?” She looked at me. “You are witch child, to begin with, and you would have nowhere to go. Though people can be deceived by how you look – clever thinking to let your hair down – but after a while, they will notice too.”

“So, what should I do then?”

“You will stay here as long as you need to.” She brushed my hand and smiled softly.

“Thank you.”


End file.
